I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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