I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
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Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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