dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
