Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
