omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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