it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
