she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
