Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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