why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Let's paint friendship bongs
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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