Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
