dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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