I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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