I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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