Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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