we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
