was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
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This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
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Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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