I want to walk on stilts...naked
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
