Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
