my room smells like sperm. sweet.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
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My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
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Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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