I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
