pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
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