wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
