this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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