I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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