Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
