party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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