i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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