Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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