Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
