she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
