tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
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When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
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there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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