Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
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Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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