I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
i need some magic done to my vagina
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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