so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
