it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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