No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
