He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
