shes about as inviting as chlamydia
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
