my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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