if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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