i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
