You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
