shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
