Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
two words...techno handjob
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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