dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
