Texts From Last Night

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  (719): View more from Colorado

  wanna go halves on a baby?

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  (719): wanna go halves on a baby? http://tfl.nu/z3oe
  Replies (18) Good night (1135) Bad night (907)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.

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  (770): I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges. http://tfl.nu/kn7k
  Replies (51) Good night (1101) Bad night (4593)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.

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  (704): I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo. http://tfl.nu/y8zo
  Replies (21) Good night (634) Bad night (3764)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.

  (212): View more from New York

  i hate you

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  (813): i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you. (212): i hate you http://tfl.nu/mlwn
  Replies (20) Good night (4710) Bad night (1031)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it

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  (614): if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it http://tfl.nu/vfj9
  Replies (5) Good night (3153) Bad night (559)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid

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  (509): im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid http://tfl.nu/xma9
  Replies (48) Good night (7717) Bad night (731)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.

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  (205): just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed. http://tfl.nu/2764
  Replies (47) Good night (6324) Bad night (2048)
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  (845): View more from New York

  The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.

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  (845): The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor. http://tfl.nu/klg7
  Replies (5) Good night (3838) Bad night (1361)
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  (415): View more from California

  My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.

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  (415): My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements. http://tfl.nu/vs0n
  Replies (28) Good night (1083) Bad night (5086)
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  (914): View more from New York

  He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.

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  (914): He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now. http://tfl.nu/ph35
  Replies (15) Good night (1265) Bad night (3287)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.

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  (806): For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so. http://tfl.nu/nluj
  Replies (7) Good night (3336) Bad night (628)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat

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  (214): Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat http://tfl.nu/vn00
  Replies (3) Good night (637) Bad night (331)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.

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  (302): Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells. http://tfl.nu/dzek
  Replies (4) Good night (1071) Bad night (363)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know

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  (410): I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know http://tfl.nu/wl8q
  Replies (3) Good night (442) Bad night (172)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride

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  (716): Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride http://tfl.nu/1rhf
  Replies (1) Good night (571) Bad night (151)

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