I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.