Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.

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  (651): So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure. http://tfl.nu/i2sm
  Replies (33) Good night (6787) Bad night (761)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  This kid is drunk.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.

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  (240): This kid is drunk. (410): I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted. http://tfl.nu/8aqa
  Replies (6) Good night (7957) Bad night (926)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.

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  (817): Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there. http://tfl.nu/ie6m
  Replies (8) Good night (2856) Bad night (2028)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.

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  (703): i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon. http://tfl.nu/dn2m
  Replies (15) Good night (1398) Bad night (1730)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.

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  (920): I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation. http://tfl.nu/1i3x
  Replies (7) Good night (1373) Bad night (491)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.

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  (817): I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool. http://tfl.nu/j2os
  Replies (7) Good night (395) Bad night (1170)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it

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  (765): This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it http://tfl.nu/dka3
  Replies (7) Good night (536) Bad night (939)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...

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  (250): I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes... http://tfl.nu/uyv6
  Replies (4) Good night (1097) Bad night (409)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"

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  (215): He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen" http://tfl.nu/8546
  Replies (5) Good night (1869) Bad night (379)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.

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  (318): I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna. http://tfl.nu/hik5
  Replies (4) Good night (1329) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Formal letter or email.

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  (647): How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks? (416): Formal letter or email. http://tfl.nu/qlv5
  Replies (4) Good night (1256) Bad night (409)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am

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  (506): Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am http://tfl.nu/i89z
  Replies (5) Good night (497) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.

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  (202): me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends. http://tfl.nu/9hc6
  Replies (0) Good night (582) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco

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  (337): You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco http://tfl.nu/5cvy
  Replies (1) Good night (280) Bad night (449)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"

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  (330): Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!" http://tfl.nu/2ydk
  Replies (2) Good night (511) Bad night (302)

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