I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
