i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
