it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
