sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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