I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize