yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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