K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Randomize
