dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
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man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
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I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.