You just made me feel so damn special
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
did i walk over a car last night?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
