i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
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Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
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He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk