I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
