is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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