SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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