All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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