So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
